the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
