you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
