3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
lets start a swedish sibling band together
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
