If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize