I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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