If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize