Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
