I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
