sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
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