she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
