I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Sext me about skeletons
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
