dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
