whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
