I'll bet she douches with gravy.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
