They should really pass out barf bags in church
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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