she woke up with a sticky ear
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
