Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
