if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
