I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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