What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
