she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
