We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize