What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Randomize
