Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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