are you still at the devil's house?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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