How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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