Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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