margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize