I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
