i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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