Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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