I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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