Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
