Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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