I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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