I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
