just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
