ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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