She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
