The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
