wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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