we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
