i don't like sucking hair
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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