Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
