I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize