I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
