after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just want to make out with him forever
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
