lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
