It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
