did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
