Hey man sorry I got all grabby
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize