I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
