Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
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