Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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