He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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