I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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