I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
