the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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