Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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