if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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