My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
they're like a gay fantastic four
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
