Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
