I just saw a hot homeless man
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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